Teen Cerebral Palsy

Hi Everyone!
I hope you’ve all been well and enjoying our transition into the spring season. A lot has happened since I’ve last posted… most of all I’ve had a few family discussions on my college options. I would be lying if I said this has been an easy experience deciding on where to go… it’s a major decision that affects many people more than just me and I tend to put all this unnecessary pressure on myself over something that is out of my hands..at least until I receive more info about costs and stuff of that nature. (The fun part about looking into those small private colleges..wink wink) but rough feelings aside, I feel fortunate to say I got into some great schools in Orange County, the Bay Area, and even one small school right in Manhattan! I am still noticing how many factors play a large role in choosing a college. I mean after all, this place is not only where you will receive your education that sets the standards for your career, but it is also your home for the next four years!  So yes, I am still undecided but not for long! May first is the deadline…still awaiting some financial aid info for a two schools and then I make my decision. If NYC wasn’t so incredibly expensive, I’d be there in a second…but as luck would have it I may have to put this school on hold for a few years. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up in grad school! I would absolutely love a city experience for a year or two, and as ready as I would be to pick up and leave now, the costs are just not too realistic for us right now. I am bummed, but I really believe that everything happens for a reason, and I have some other great options that I know I will be just as happy with. Plus, having CP in a city as busy and pedestrian-like as NYC might not be so great for me (physical health wise)…I could be jumping to conclusions, but I feel like all that walking would just make my feet fall right off! Even here after a ton of walking I catch my legs getting extra tired and not to mention the shoes situation…knowing me, I wouldn’t wear the most practical walking shoes on a day to day basis even if it means sacrificing my comfort (that’s such a girl thing to say, huh? :p) Well regardless, if all falls into place, I am fairly certain I am going to Soka University in South OC, so only about a half hour down the coast. The location attracted me more than the curriculum at first…but then I looked into what they are known for (international liberal arts) and I was smitten.  take a peek for yourself if you are curious…. www.soka.edu
Any last minute advice on choosing a college? It’s hard to weigh all the pro’s, con’s, and other factors, as I am sure some of you know…. I feel like a small part of me even wants to go to a place where my CP wouldn’t really be a defining part of me. Not that it ever really was, but growing up and going to school in a place like Orange County where appearances are a bigger part of high school…this nature of judgment as taught me to really accept myself and the way I am early on. I look at that as a catalyst of sorts for others to accept me CP and all....I’ve learned that if I don’t let my weaknesses show, no one will really question me. Having confidence, and the ability to carry yourself well and have self-esteem (this goes for anyone, really) will take you so far in life. There will be times, and maybe you already know this-when your esteem for yourself and others will be tested and it will be up to you to work through that hardship and prove to yourself that emotionally, you are powerful and nothing, not even your physical abilities can challenge that emotional strength. To kind of loop that long tangent around…. I have to make sure that I could see myself walking around campus, feeling a part of the residential life, and be able to learn things about myself and acquire and education that I will be able to carry with me the rest of my life.

I think I may have rambled on a bit too long today…I apologize, I think that is just a result of getting all that doubt and deep inner thoughts that are hindering me from making my decision…ahh good times. I know I will look back on this and wonder why I was such a stress case. Lack of sleep, school, work, gym and the big one college…yep, that’ll stress ya out for a good week or two. Pardon my minor absence, I think I just needed to clear my head a bit and get off the computer for a while…between all this social networking that goes on these days, and school work that requires technology, computer use might as well be an extra class! I took some time to write (poems, thoughts, question…even working on a short story too) and exercise! I’ve kept up a great work out regime for the past few weeks…trying to lean out for spring break and summertime! And that is just the fun part about working out…I love how good working out makes me feel! I know from psychology physical activity releases certain chemicals in the brain (endorphins, serotonin, adrenaline…) but these chemicals give you that rush that is hard to feel if you laze around all day and get all groggy… I think now that I am slowly getting back into running shape, working out has become more enjoyable for me. My right (non-CP) knee has been bugging me a bit after this gnarly hike we did last weekend, but I’m just staying aware of it and listening to my body. Still, I struggle to balance out the work load between my two legs, but I will always have to work on that..it just takes a conscious effort to tell my leg and foot to relax, so I can get a fuller running motion with my left leg and give my right leg a break! After about a mile my right quad muscle starts to burn like crazy but it is all a mental game and after a few more minutes I don’t even think about it that much. Is this what you experience for those of you who are active at all? I’d love to hear some experiences you’ve had with exercising…and even if there is something you’ve discovered about how to run better, or anything that a fellow TeenCPer may find helpful about working out…your fav types of cardio…anything in general. Which remind me…I need to get a bike! I am having bike riding withdrawls I miss feeling the wind on my face and the sun on my back..who knew working out could be so enjoyable… whenever I bike ride, my CP is hardly affected because it forces you to use other muscles that may not be as weak from regular walking, since it is not such a direct form of contact with the joints and pavement. That is just my experience with biking anyway…may be different for you!
Well, as I meant to finish up a few paragraphs ago, here I am still rambling on :p I’ll hopefully be on here more as school is winding down (I graduate June 16th, finally!) and I can see a bit more clearly now that I’m coming to a conclusion about my college choice for the fall….exciting times ahead…. I hope you are all well and that you get off for spring break soon as well! Easter is late this year…
Well, take care my lovely TeenCP friends and readers
-Katy